We met in an instant.. in a complete different worlds. “Yours is something i call HOME with warm love and acceptance however mine is UNKNOWN where emptiness resides”
Let me start when we first met, back in the year 2oo8 where you&&iii originally met (over the phone/webcam), that’s, one of those days that’s so vague but remarkable (cause that’s when i first met you). In the year 2oo9, YOU&&iii finally met in person… my mind was blank and doesn’t know what to feel or to expect, all i know is i finally met you..(overwhelmed). No reactions, nothing at all…cause my presence there was nothing but to explore, enjoy and not to FALL in LOVE! Those days was full of excitement and happiness.. That’s when you started calling me “BEE”.. well, I’ll be willing to be your bee as long as YOU are willing to be my HONEY! (that sounds pathetic but I’m tryin’).. but i still remember what i used to call you “MY LOVE”, and that’s when you gave me two handcraft paper saying “I<3U” that was the first gift/remembrance that I’ve received from you(a gift that i received not until i reached JAPAN..and guess what? i still have them and you probably won’t even remember). The days passed..didn’t get the chance to bid you my farewell..cause you left without even saying goodbye..not even a single word! (REASON: school. Your reason was one of the lame excuse that I’ve ever heard.) And our first interaction ends on September 12, 2oo9 at 12 o’clock midnight.
Few years have gone, and there i was again… i returned.(December o8, 2o11) when i saw you in person. (I must admit, my heart skip a beat and i felt nervous). That’s when I received the first HUG from you. Your presence makes my heart smile. First few day’s were good, especially on the 11th day of December. (There’s always a first time they say) It was the first time that i rode in your bike, i kinda feel nervous yet not so nervous cause i know you are there and always will. I guess i was a bad luck when your tire broke down. But that gave me enough of time, to see you closely and talk to you clearly (though we’re both tipsy!) And, i was just amazed… i had a coffee session with you at 2:30 in the morning…it was when you first held my hand.(while you were driving).. that’s when i received the second and third HUG from you… But after that, we both gone busy..mine with the sessions and you for work. (that made me sad..it did!) We hardly communicate, at first..it was all cool with me yet day by day I’m missing you and wanted to see you, even if you’re there, sitting beside me i still do miss you. (your body may be there, but reality check.. your heart and mind wasn’t) I am not expecting anything from you or anything to happen and i never wanted to ruin the current mood of your relationship (don’t be confused..please don’t, I am not staying for good..but if i do, i will not hesitate and make you fall for me! and that’s a promise LOL) that just sound so greedy but that’s true. “You’re like Mcdonalds…wanna know why? Cause I’m Lovin’ it!” I don’t know when did it start, or what happen or how it happen, all i know is that i can’t stop thinking about you, day and night! But isn’t it I’m good at pretending that i don’t wanna text you? (just so you know…My heart and mind is debating whether to text you or not..HEART wins sometimes, that’s when i text you but my MIND wins most of the time cause i bear the time to not to text you.) We act like a cat and a dog, a couple and friends…we fight, we chill, we laugh, we joke and we pretend.. I once heard you say… It’s hard (the situation) then if you are having a hard time…I am in pain… I am hurting (but i can’t do anything cause you ain’t mine).
I guess, both of us are just cowards and ain’t ready to face reality… the reality of acceptance, confrontation and letting go.
- You always ask if i have a prepaid and you barely text me yet, you complain why i don’t text you. (i don’t cause, the thing inside me is growing and not talking to you is the only way to stop it..guess i was wrong instead it grew strong.)
- You always ask if i have plans.. (what an ass) i said all my sched., yet you didn’t do anything about it.. instead you said NOTHING when i asked why you wanna know. (You know what’s hard when you asked me that..i was waiting for you to asked me out,..and i waited for you the whole day) and that’s the most tiring job i did., waste my time while waiting for something i know isnt gonna happen and will never be.
-You makes me worry whenever you show up at our door step yet bid goodbye from nowhere.
- I like it, when you make a face… you’re like a kid, i just like the way of you as an innocent kind.
- You’re so adorable when drunk… and such a cutie when doing a half smile/smirk.
- You act/pretend that you are sick when i talk to somebody yet, you didn’t do anything about it and let me.
- i hate it when you tell everyone how you feel except me. (i felt worthless)I shouldn’t assume or expect anything but I’m hurting
-You get mad and complain alot when someone gets my attention.
-I like the way you asked me stuff as if your were my man
-I like the way you care for me esp. when you overreact when i got an attacked (asthma)
- I like the way you text me (though its just a random text…) it makes my day… esp. when you replied I love you t0o. I know that ain’t real..just words with no meaning…
-I like it when you call me a monkey (not because i wanted to be a monkey) but because you told me that i’am the monkey that’s keep hanging in your heart and will always be there.- However, do you know what i like the most? - YOU.
Our encounter may be short but it made me happy, it’s short and it made me sad, it’s short and it’s not right, it’s short and you made me FALL, it’s short yet it shouldn’t.
I always wanna tell you this… “I like you, i really do but i shouldn’t!”
Guess… that’s how our journey ends. for now… i hope to see you again maybe not now, not anytime soon.. but maybe SOMEDAY! (till we meet again)
P.S
HAPPY BIRTHDAY (January 26, 2o12)
Love always,
rEdELLE
